How?

How can I win

When I've already lost

They say I shouldn't sin

But what else can I do

When I'm left all alone

In the cold dark night

Beasts growling and biting my flesh

Ripping my heart out

Stealing my life

It comes up everyday

Everyone does it

I can't help myself

This body will get what it wants

One way or another

I want to give myself away

For love and respite

But I can't let my heart be torn out

Every single night

Needles pierce my skin

Burning through my veins

How can I abandon what has kept me alive

How can I leave my only friend

In the darkness, I'm alone

In my mind, it's just me

My cries are ignored

My pain concealed away

Beneath this skin, this look, this life

Smiling, laughing, making jokes

Fitting in to nothing, being no one

Drums beat away my thoughts

Strings sing the anguish I feel

I want to be held, to give myself away

To become something new, to surrender all I am

Walking down this hallway

Such mundane smells, sounds, sights

Faceless people pass by, show me their mask

I show mine, just to say I believe

In the lie we all live

While my heart erupts, my soul despairs

My minds call out for something real

Hands grope at shadows

Eyes strain at gnats

But the house of hope

Seems too far away.